To The Streets


Well, the cat’s out of the bag. When I was a child, I thought a lot about drawing graphics for skateboards. My memory of this fact recently came rushing back to me when it was brought to my attention that I could design my own skateboard decks through the unfortunately named company Needless to say, I couldn’t resist taking a closer look at what I felt was an opportunity for me to get back some of the street-cred that I lost somewhere around 2002 (before the operation). In short, I ask that you purchase at least three of each one of these skateboard decks that I have designed specifically for you. Click the image below to see more.


Yesterday, I poured orange juice into a Britta water filter. This is what came out:



In 1982, two things happened: One, I was born. Two, I started this blog. Interestingly enough, it has taken me almost 29 years to realize that I never had a “subscribe” option on the side of this blog (unless you guys have figured out other ways to be notified by e-mail regarding new posts). Anyway, I am aware that I stopped posting on here for an obscene amount of time and, while I promise I won’t do that again, I hope that this e-mail-notification-thing will help… something…(?)

Dust Blowing


I initially set out to make a film that compiles various clips from movies that depict a person blowing dust off of something old and then coughing. Because the cough afterward is so important, I soon realized how difficult it would be to find all of these clips. At first, I condemned myself as being lazy for thinking this. However, upon being confronted by my laziness, I got the idea to “re-enact” these short scenes by filming entirely new ones, trying to make them look as professional as possible.

It is for the reason discussed in the above title that I recorded the following track. The song is about how I am unable to read social cues.

AQUARIUS – Remember that plastic crate that you left in the corner of your garage? Look under it because there are some small cars there.

PICES – You look exactly like Jesus Christ with your long hair and beard (all of it being brown).

ARIES – Your address, 294 Garrison Street, is strange.

TAURUS – At 2:37 am you are going to be awakened by an elderly man who wants you to explain yourself in great detail.

GEMINI – Remember that blast of snow?

CANCER – Whether you are ready to admit it or not, there are hundreds of cables spilling out of you.

LEO – Your only concern right now should be your two black dogs and your one orange cat.

VIRGO – You may never figure out how to rip a telephone book in half, so stop investigating how others do it.

LIBRA – Wait a minute.

SCORPIO – You just finished clapping your hands 55 times in a row.

SAGITTARIUS – Why is it that gold isn’t that important to you?

CAPRICORN – Look at the telephone next to you. Do you notice that the zero-key is completely rubbed off? Why did you do that?

Animal Post